The Ex-Factor

This is a touchy subject for me. For a long time I tried to be understanding and open to a friendship that Andy had with his ex-wife. It was very very difficult for me to do. Eventually, as Andy and I grew closer their friendship faded. He started to branch out away from the life that he knew and start over in a life of his own. It became more and more about us, and less about being in a bar drinking and playing darts. That's all his friends do. Then we decided to have a baby, and that changed everything. This is our family. It does not include his ex-wife anymore. She got what she wanted, a divorce.

Yesterday (after 6 months of not hearing from him, at all) she sent him a few text messages, first wishing us the best with our baby, and then saying how she thinks it's very unfortunate that they can apparently no longer be friends. Apparently it was apparent enough...

I have very strong feelings about this, and I've voiced them to Andy several times. He respects my feelings and understands where I'm coming from. I don't talk to my ex either. That was my choice. I haven't talked to him in almost two years. I'm not upset about that. He has his own family, a son of his own, and has moved on. As have I. Why can't his ex-wife do the same thing?

If not having the person that you were with for more than 15 years be a part of your life makes you that sad... you probably should have worked on your relationship instead of walking away and asking for a divorce. It's very very simple. She got exactly what she asked for. I've been polite and nice about it for a long time, but I don't feel that I have to now. They have no children, family, belongings or anything else tying them to each other. It's time to let go, and move on. My daughter is not going to ask me, or her father who she is. It's not going to be a possibility for her to even have that option.

Andy did not reply to her, again. And has no plans to. We just want to move on, alone with the family that we are starting together. You don't get to be BFF's with your ex-wife/ex-husband.